FFG Star Wars/Quotes

Suggested Ship Names:
 * Toasty Cow
 * Crusty Tauntan
 * Sideways Dolphin
 * Spicy Ronto
 * Rusty Bull
 * Virile Voractyl
 * Running Bantha
 * Zesty Zillowbeast
 * Dirty Porg
 * Rogue Ronto
 * Shy Rathtar

"The Wrathful Ronto?" "That's too good. And we aren't shooting for good."

"So it's your fault it's the Rouge Ronto!"

"All the connections to the party are happening through me. It's like I'm the cute thing."

"OK, so you said something incomprehensible and then laughed hysterically, so I'm a little concerned."

"Under his helmet, does your character have a greasy moustache that he twirls?"

"So, you'll need a cat harness & leash." "Or maybe a cone."

"I think it's a show of restraint that we didn't call the ship the sideways dolphin."

"Skakoan? I presume you don't poop." "They just wish it so."

"This danger is how I live everyday!" "So check your privilege, Kitty Cat!"

"That's part of my skill set!" "Reaching the pedals?"

"There's 8 people, so I don't want rolls to take forever." "That's why I'm upfront about the underwear."

"I'm going to make the clerk my ally." "Heh. Soondead N. Gonnabiteit!"

"You're caught red handed with your pad plugged into the terminal. With your pants down." "Oh, so that's how you do it."

"I'm going to try to reach one of my contacts at the temple." "What contacts do you have at the temple?" "Uhh..." "I think they're all dead."

"So you're yelling for the Jedi 'Please come and interrogate me!'"

"Just shave the Wookiee!"

"So you turn the corner and see a Bothan, a Twi'lek and a droid trying to lube a large Wookiee..."

"So you're noodling on your fat lute."

"We should have named the ship the Greasy Wookiee!"

"The smell of smoke is receding for those of you who don't want to be on fire." "We have a greasy Wookiee." "Heh. He's our torch."

"I'm assuming there's some sort of Twi'lekki death blessing?" (starts undulating to indicate use of lekku) "It uses a pole?"

(About HC-7) "I assume that at the beginning of every combat he yells 'we surrender!'"

"You're lying on something important? Way to kitty-cat, Kitty Cat."

"No fucking problem. Oh. Wait. Fucking problem, because while I got four successes, I generated 2 threat, so I don't know how long the fuse is!!!"

"You can fling as many Jawas off cliffs as you want."

"Wait? You have hooves? You're a cat with hooves?!"

"I guess he was wearing horse shoes."

"Caution: I have never plotted a hyperspace jump before. I hope I do well."

"So. Who are all y'all? Anyone going to lie?"

"What to do if your Master dies is an elective course?"

"And I'm going to walk away wearing my cone of shame."

"So for the Jedi with the padawan braids..." (points) "No hair, no hair, no hair!" "Time to shave the kittycat!"

"No cat has hair that long. It is definitely a clip-on!"

"I figured out that if I quip while fighting, I'm better!" "But how does it work with the training droid?" "Power off! Ha ha!"

"My designation is 3D6!" "Can I call you Gigit?" "Master, if it brings you delight, you may." "Giggity."

"Wow. you managed to make 'Gungan' sound even more like a racial slur."

(About the Mirror) "However everyone is still very much alive, so we are assuming he isn't aboard."

"Droids are kind of a gray area..."

"I look forward to all of this being over." "Mission statement!"

"I wonder if that's one of my dad's speeches?" "Your dad is Palpatine's Speechwriter? Why am I just learning this now?!"

"Kit Fisto has a way stupider name than Agen Kolar, so I apologize to Agen Kolar."

"Nawah 'The Wallet' Masin"

"Bothan Shoes are known for their secret compartment. Mine had a small one." "So what's our cover story?" "We're trying to find a Bothan cobbler."

"And the droid can fix the ship?" "It gave few disclaimers, so I guess?" "Actually, I clicked the do not show again box."

"They've lost all their Jedi camping business." "Oh, that's why it's called Camp-arus." "Or why it is called Camp-ing."

"It's only a problem if you have to run away from something, and speeder chasers never happen in Star Wars."

"There's murder happening, Detective Wookiee man."

"3 successes, 1 threat, and 1 despair." "Someone's going to need a new cone!"

"So you hear a blaster whine, a thump, and Efnir say 'Oops!"

"Why does he have enough camping gear for 8 people?" (shrug) "Forest orgies?" "But he's a Jedi" "Jedi can fuck. They just can't form attachments." "So you can have all the forest orgies you want, they just can't be fun." "Time for apathetic boring forest orgy porn slash fic!"

"Aaah! Hold on! I'm still writing about boring forest orgies!"

"Vesper wakes up in the campsite feeling like garbage, but at least he wakes up." "Pancakes for Vesper! Wait. Are pancakes in bad taste?"

(Child scream interrupts Jedi trance) "Chorus of tiny angels..."

"I've dealt with a lot of rocks in my day and none of them has been surprised." "That you know!"

"Black market cobbling!"

"You could plug some sort of computer cable into this." "Hey, we need a USB-C to plug in the rock."

"Are you going to leave the artifact in the methane room?" "We'll leave it with Somi. She can incubate it."

"We're proactive bounty hunters. We think someone is going to issue a bounty for this guy soon, so we're going to start looking for him now. You've gotta be a go-getter on Nar Shaddaa."

"One of the ships docked at the spaceport is named Stop Looking at Me or I'll Tear Your Eyes Out." "Should have turned off the speech to text when I was entering that data."

"The ship is a cake wreck?" "Yeah, there’s even a website called Ship Wrecks." "I mean, you have to not get distracted when your putting your order in with the droid." "#relatable"

"Vesper's been injured, the session has officially started."

"If I was going to hide a dead body I would have tipped it over the edge." "Um...rule zero?"

"You find yourself in what’s like a serial killer's lair for droids. There are parts strewn all over. HC-7 is looking around and saying 'oh it's horrible!' and covering his eyes and you're like 'no, that's our light source!'" "You must look!"

"So we'll put the cone back on the Jedi cat." "I refuse to wear a cone despite being wounded." "You're not a cat." "I'll wear a cone." "Says the Wookiee."

"How much are Stimpacks again?" "75 credits." "75 credits? That's a lot. How much is a full-body cast?"

"Is meditating in your bunk like 'organizing your papers?'"

"Yes, you're actually escorting The Mirror and his adorable children, who are a couple of droids in wigs."

"I need you to bring him back alive." "I promise we will bring him back...whole." "As in 'full of them.'" "Full of bullets."

"I need to make a collect call. 'Hi dad. I'm not dead. Goodbye.'" *hangs up*

"I hope this isn't like your Firefly where the worst character secrets come in later seasons, because if this is Season 1..."

"Guess it's up to Noel to roll us some light side points?" "Help us, Obi-wan Ke-Noel-bi!"

(while meditating on the artifact) "There's a sense that it is trying to connect with something else, but it's not able to." "Its voice mail is full."

"There's lots of traffic to one site - BuxomBothans.net" "If I didn't want you to know, I would have cleared the history!" "There's the threat - my nightmares later."

"I don't think I'll be getting up on any roofs anytime soon." "You had a roof day." "Was it your shingle worst experience?"

"For all we know, Vesper could be here." "Come on out! We know you're here!" "I crinkle the treat bags."

(on naming a drug) "Phlesminol, street name 'Somber'." "Because you only give it to someone in Hospice." "Or that you want to put in Hospice."

"Where's everyone else?" "Name dropping." "Drug shopping."

"It would make sense that Hutts would use a lot of Somber. It's the only way they float."

(Singing) "What do you do with a sedated Ewok?"

"Ikal. Rhymes with 'recall', so you think I'd actually remember it."

"I look around and notice he's a collector of plates." "Is it signed by Tom Paris?"

"Oh Man! We missed a chance to have him say 'It's a traap!'" "I thought that was the whole reason Beth made him a Mon Calamari!!" (GM's note: partially, yes)

"Perhaps the real trap was the friends we made along the way."

"And she says, 'Rhen'." "Sekar?" (whispered) "It's a trap." "You didn't get to say it last time with the Mon Calamari, so you're going to say it this time. Everything is always a trap!" "It's the new 'being on fire'." "Being on fire does NOT count as a trap." "Unless you're secretly on fire and you hug someone."

"Character Flaw: Being secretly on fire."

"He was a human with curly red hair and he was evil." "So he was a clown?" "Ronald McJedi Murderer?"

"You try to open the door and discover you're locked in." "It's really bad when there's a sock on the INSIDE of the door." "They're having a boring forest orgy and didn't invite you."

"I can only summon a sword out of thin air" "That makes you a bit of a one-trick pony." "I dunno... If you're a horse and can summon something pointy, that makes you a one-trick unicorn."

(Rhen rolls Triumph on Athletics while alone on the ship) "You easily get out of the way of the shard of glass." (sadly) "I guess I do an awesome dodge that nobody sees."

"3D6 is disassembled!" "Well... that's not the worst thing he can be."

"Maybe the point of being a Jedi Master is to be as irritating as possible."

"Mentor troubles? Been there, done that. Currently doing that."

"So there's a Red Headed Jedi not on Coruscant. That narrows it down by one planet."

"He (Master Quiet) isn't my character, but I imagine him as looking kind of like a cult leader with wild Charles Mansion hair." "Great. Now I'm imagining Bruno." (Singing) "We don't talk about Quiet, no no. We don't talk about Quiet. But! It was my mission day and there wasn't a clone in the sky. Quiet walked in with a mischievous grin (Thunder!!) and the droids all died."

"I realize I've played a number of characters that couldn't really hurt you."

"In the Star Wars universe, Jazz is called Jizz, and Jizz is called Jazz." "What do Jazz hands mean?"

"It looks right. The arms are in the correct Droid holes."

"Master! My arms are backwards." "Yeah. The Mirror, what a prankster."

"I was going to ask if it is tasteful music, but, uh, I have the answer."

"You somehow manage to bisect it with a training lightsaber." "I was REALLY frustrated with my blaster." "She tosses her blaster up in the air and hits it like a baseball."

"We haven't been to the, uh, soft creature area yet."

"Lesson learned. Dark side: good."

"And here’s a tattoo of me falsifying my tattoos.”

“We just upended the bag of broken glass into the bacta tank.”

"A Corellian hand job is when you shoot someone under the table." "You're the only person who calls it that."

“They shot me in the same spot.” “Lucky you. They always shoot me in a different spot. They aim for whatever part of me still has fur.” “You’re the target of an Imperial plot to give you electrolysis?” “‘Imperial electrolysis’ – that’s a pretty good euphemism for what Imperial troopers try to do to Jedi.”

“Buxom Bothans isn’t a porn site. It’s the best search engine in the galaxy cleverly disguised as a porn site.”

(THIS SPACE RESERVED FOR SESSION 7 QUOTES)

"Which one was the one that blew things up?" "Damasa." "I like her."

"One of Vesper's theories is that Vic is a little man inside the armor, and so he's made you some lacy nightgowns that are basically doll clothing."

"Yes, the more powerful you are in the force, the more heavy metals accumulae in your body." "That might explain why all the padawans in the group have such terrible Brawn. It's all that Jedi metal." "That sounds like a genre of music." "I guess if you have a cortosis guitar pick..."

"Push her down the stairs!" "I may not need to roll for Morality, but I still feel it."

"We're going to surgically implant someone with tracking devices." "One for them to find and one for them to not find."

"One of my stupid ideas has become validated!"

(about Nomi) "She's going to take money from every lowlife in the entire galaxy until she's happy."

"How is it that you knew that I was the person to speak to?" "BuxomBothans.net has it all."

"Do you know what a Coruscant Uber is?" "Again, you're the only one who calls it that." (if you were wondering, it's when you jump off a building and land in somebody's speeder, which you steal)

"You need to work on your discipline, Jedi." "That doesn't seem like a priority of his. That's why we have a popcorn machine."

"Join the hit-the-Wookiee club." "So far that's just you."